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Sues Souk

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A New Year

Posted on February 13, 2013 at 1:45 AM

As 2013 rushes in with its workload and its promises, I wonder which way it is heading. New and unexpected responsibilities at work have given it an exciting anticipation and I am impatient to see results.......but I must wait and in anticipation, remain watchful with hope that all the hard work will indeed make a difference. Thanks to family and friends who have remained supportive.

Restless

Posted on January 9, 2013 at 12:35 AM

12/9/12

The smile , the cheer, the laugh,

Does not , as the wish, hide the fear

Of uncertainity and apprehension

Of everything, of the future

 

You are restless, in a sea of people

There, but not quite

At times, deep in thought

At others, not.

 

Flailing among dreams and desires

Which fight for recognition and attention

A search for peace

A need for rest

 

Do not run helter skelter

In that endless quest

That drains you

That silences the visible you

 

But stop, a moment

Maybe longer

In that deafening silence

Look beyond yourself

 

Savour creation

A myriad of colour and dance

Look to the creator

To gain insight and understanding

 

Question your existence

The very core of your soul

Who are you and

Why are you here ??

 

A mountain of philosophies

Rendering of faiths

Explanations and expositions

May delude you

 

But sift and sort

Taste and chew

The brain, the mind

Are equipped for such a task

The Curry Leaf Saga

Posted on January 9, 2013 at 12:10 AM

The Curry Leaf Saga 8/1/13

Tiny pale green leaves emerged from dry twigs. It was as if informing that there was life after all, hidden in the dehydrated branches. I watched the leaves multiply slowly but surely till the pale leaves became darker as the sun shone, water provided much needed raw material as did the potting mixture in the sandy soil. Relief heaved a sigh and I continued to hope that all would be well and my three nurtured pots would finally provide me with fragrant curry leaves for my rare cooking escapades.

I still remember the fragrance of these leaves, strong, sharp and inviting when I walked into the OR changing room, quite a few years ago. A strange smell in an otherwise clinical environment. A nurse had this plant growing in her garden and would occasionally break off large bunches and bring them in plastic bags to be distributed among other Indian staff. The grand old curry leaf, rare to find in those days even in the Malayalee run cold stores, was an essential ingredient in South Indian cooking. The aroma, whether being fried in oil or dropped into curries was mouthwatering and would almost instantly send one's thoughts back to mother's kitchen and home cooked food. However, as all ethnic cooking is, the appreciation of the aroma and the taste was an acquired one. Some people would meticulously pick out these leaves out of their food and not eat them at all, but I loved them. I am not sure whether it was because someone had told me that they were good for hair growth. A friend from another part of the country once told me that she never did really care for them. I smiled and thought that she really had no idea how Indian food was taken to another level by the presence of these leaves.

If a curry leaf tree, well cared for could grow in the arid Bahraini environment, in sandy, salty soil and still smell so mouthwatering, I wanted one in my garden. Unfortunately, I didn't have green fingers as some people did and was concerned. With much trepidation, I did accept a cutting with strict instructions on how deep to dig, where to dig, what to add and mix into the soil and how exactly to care for the plant. We eventually did have a curry leaf plant in the garden. It grew well till slowly leaves started drying up and some turned pale green. My busy schedule and my lack of the green knowledge was the downfall of my little tree. It was soon reduced to a bunch of dried twigs. Egg shells were crushed into the plant bed, weeds were searched for but there were none, tea leaves were dropped around the plant and some times some of the vegetable waste from the kitchen. Just as we were about to lose hope, tiny pale leaves sprouted and life reared its welcome head. The tree was born again and soon laden with droopy branches full of aromatic leaves. It was watered regularly and didn't need much care after that due to its good behavior.

All was well till the day I had to move. What would I do with that which had matured now to a sturdy woody plant. I made regular visits back to my old house to pick up mail and ended up breaking off twigs of the plant and taking them back to work. A colleague requested that they would like to replant my curry leaf tree in their garden. It was a relief to realize that there would be someone to realize the potential of the curry leaf tree and be there to nurture it. The relief, however was soon replaced with apprehension.

“The tree will die”, said the watchman. “It was just fortunate that your tree grew here. It wont survive if you move it.” My colleague reassured me that she would take all the care required to ensure its survival. Parts of the tree were taken back and planted in three pots and placed in my balcony. My colleague brought her gardener and they carefully uprooted the plant and replanted in her garden. I felt as if I had lost a part of me. Rather overdoing it, I thought. It was a strange feeling. Poor tree, which had no feelings, was unaware of my thoughts. Two days of “intensive care” brought drooping leaves back to life and my curry leaf tree is now thriving in its new location.

I stood on my balcony and watched the green emerging from the brown. Even the third and final twig had grown leaves. I watered the pots and smiled. Last week, I had decided to give away the pots to people I knew. “ They would appreciate this gift”, I thought. But now, after the advent of pale green leaves, I want to be selfish and hold onto the plants. Perhaps I will, Perhaps I won't. I will wait for darker leaves and then make my decision.

When truth dawns

Posted on August 11, 2012 at 3:50 AM

Misconception and misunderstandings

Cloud our dreams

Warp our thinking

Paralyze the mind

Limiting its freedom

Confining and demanding

To be heard

 

Experience and knowledge

Make us rulers of our world

Blinded, at times

Willfully refusing to see

What maybe obvious

What maybe visible

Albeit hazy

 

Can we climb

Away from fetters

Or do we remain

Tied down

Adamant and confident

Of what may not be true

And of what we have always had

 

Or do we cast away all ties

That hold us down

And become part of who we are

And look beyond

Out over the horizon

And maybe see invisibility

Suddenly clarified.

 

The dawn of truth

Ever so sweet

A changing of the tide

A welcome moment

Of new understanding

And a possible way

To move forward

The Tsunami Change - you went away 5/8/12

Posted on August 7, 2012 at 2:10 PM

Numb yet feeling

Accepting the inevitable

Life as I knew it

A tsunami change


I go about routine

Piling on endlessly

Love wanting to scream

Primal and unfettered


Neurons computing

Back and forth

On the dawn of reality

The tsunami change


Fears and apprehensions realized

Pain so deep

That tears refuse to flow

In fact, nothing happens


What do I say ?

What do I do ?

Except lose myself

In responsibilities that demand


The loss is great

The need is strong

To see and touch

To be there for you


I see your smile

In my mind’s eye

The tug on my heart

Hurts so bad


I know that it must be

That you not suffer more

More than you could

So silent and enduring


But slowly, I must

And slowly, I do

Realize and accept

The tsunami change

Miss u much

Do not say 24/4/2012

Posted on June 13, 2012 at 4:50 AM

Do not say

That I cannot

Should not

Must not

Instead

Talk to my inner being

Search the depth within

Tell me what you see

Reveal me to you

And find that

The cannot is a can do

The must not

Transformed into much more

Your hope in me

Your trust

For me to build on

And grow

Enabled, to someone

Who can be.

To be strong

Posted on June 13, 2012 at 4:45 AM

To take a tear

Shed with the effort

Of good intention

And fill an ocean

Would take

Persistent endeavor

Spiced with determination

And laced with fervor

 

To entrust

And love

With little hope

Of reward or return

Would but a blind

Action be

A path for fools

Who know no better

 

To hold strong

Committed and firm

Would require

A rock heart

Of inner power

A desire for triumph

Over what is so near

Yet seemingly unattainable

My mind

Posted on June 13, 2012 at 4:20 AM

My mind 18th May 2012

Minutes merge into hours and days

To weeks and months

Activities routine, occupy every

Waking moment

Thoughts and commitment,

Fight for recognition

Dreams, desires and wishes

Usurped, as in a civil war

 

Knowledge and experience

Support and refute

All that is seen

Or can be done

After the passage of time

One reaches a moment

When wonderment asks

How did I get here?

 

A myriad of lists

A to do for today, tomorrow,

Endlessly cloud my mind

Into a dusty fuzziness

Despite the organization

My finiteness, my limitations

Slow me down

 

Through vision tunneled,

And hearing dulled

I still forge on

Energized by a new day

Wearied at times

By unnecessary interruptions

A driving force

Pushing me to be who I am

 

Unable to flee

From my own inadequacies

I see the need

To first forgive myself, to be kind

To acknowledge my limitations

And then the gauzy haze lifts

To reveal manageable truth

 

And then I know that I will survive

Dont judge me

Posted on May 7, 2012 at 3:15 AM

Don't judge me

Cos I look different

Think different and

Dream of things

Not important to you.


Don't judge me

Cos I am happy

With small things

Yet reach for the Sky ,

in the way I know how


Don't judge me

Cos I want to be someone

Beyond what you

May know

Or understand


Don't judge me

Cos I don't understand

Your point of view

Neither do I agree

With what you say


Don't judge me

Cos I am fat or thin

Shapely or not

And you don't

Like the way I look


Rather look into my heart

Try and see the other side

That I can be a source of support

Encouragement, inspiration

In my own simple way


That maybe , you can learn

Something of who I am and of other things

That life is bigger than your world

That I am not a threat 

And that I can, and will be your friend

Deep brown eyes 1/5/2012

Posted on May 7, 2012 at 3:10 AM

Deep brown eyes  - to my son (1/5/2012)


In your deep brown eyes

Wide eyed and curious

Yet too polite to ask

If something was troubling me,

I see the desire to rise


Rise above the mundane and routine

Take flight to soar , to fly

Free as a bird

Resplendent and proud

On wings dependable.


In the laugh, so generous and hearted

Spirited and full

I hear, not the sound of the smile

Rather the sound of a child

Yearning to run.


To run, wild, not as if disheartened

Rather wild , as if free of all cares

Free of ties that bind

That hold, restrict and tether

Endlessly


In those eyes that see beyond

The obvious dullness

Of life and all that it gives,

I see hope, immeasurable

By the finite mind


This is hope, that cannot be

Dampened, no matter what

No matter how hard

That discouragement makes

An entrance


The eyes may shut ever so briefly

For much needed rest

Yet the look does not change

To rise new every morn

And start all over again T


hose deep brown eyes

We all have them

And realization dawns

That the hope we cling to

Will indeed set us free 


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